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Joke of the Day

"How many mm^3 of dirt is there in a hole 1m x 1m x 1m? There is no dirt in the hole!"

"[their last appetizer] Her: I don't want it. You have it. Him: I don't want it either, you... Me: *reaches onto their table and takes it"

"I'm behind 38 episodes of Game of Thrones. I'll just jump in the new season and piece it all together. Should be fine."

"What do you call a clock tower somebody lives in? A timely manor."

"hey I just met you and this is crazy but I'm going to argue with another stranger in your mentions for hours maybe"

"My friend has a PhD in sexual deviancy She can talk about autoerotic asphyxiation until she's blue in the face!"

"Yo girl, are you my appendix? Because I don't really understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."

"Bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning. He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison."

"Why do lesbians shop at sports authority? Because they hate Dicks"

"Wow The Middle East Certainly knows how to Commemorate International Women's Day They let them get stoned."