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Joke of the Day

"The year 2932, lines for the new iPhone are so long, many die before reaching the end. Those who do, get back in line for the next phone."

"I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but there's only room in your ass for one head, and yours is already there ."

"I also wanted to post a hydraulic press video... ... but your mom was busy."

"The shit stains in my toilet are so peaceful I just can't piss them off."

"I'm home alone eating donuts and listening to Journey. I think I can stop believin' now."

"My band is called 999 megabytes. We don't have any gigs. lol"

"So I was at the bar the other night exchanging pleasantries with an attractive woman. She said she would like to read my palm... Okay! She takes my hand and asks... ""Do you come here often?"""

"Nearly Christmas... PEOPLE say that every dog has its day. How right they are. We got a dog for Christmas, got bored with it and had it put down on Boxing Day."

"Did you hear about Trump's import tax assessment? It's tariff-eyeing"

"Donald trump runs for president"