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Joke of the Day

"When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like I love you for what you have inside. (Me to my fridge)"

"What does a doctor say to the new father of a stillborn child? Close, but no cigar."

"Have you tried the new, ultra-realistic vibrator? ""No, how does it work?"" ""Right before you climax it comes, goes limp, farts, and turns itself off."""

"How to begin a TIFU post This wasn't today..."

"After a big tsunami in Japan, the Chinese began to hoard soy sauce. So I guess you shouldn't Kikkoman when he's down."

"Mother: I raised you both as a mother and a father. Son: Go fuck your self."

"What sound does Reddit make when it blows up? Pao! Edit: Whoa, FP *and* gold. Thank you!"

"Religious gardening rising in popularity with today's youth. Parents around the nation are alarmed at their teens obsession with Sects and Violets."

"What do you call a fat person with hemophilia? Diableedes"

"I punched a drug addict in the face. I guess I beat the crack outta him. (The best joke I have ever made up.)"