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Joke of the Day

"Religious gardening rising in popularity with today's youth. Parents around the nation are alarmed at their teens obsession with Sects and Violets."

"Breaking News:Will.i.am has eye removed. Now he's just Will Am (I'm sorry it only works in speech form)"

"How do you get a fat girl in bed? Piece of cake"

"My colleague was being a real asshole the other day. We had a costume contest and he definitely won the prize for ""Most Obscene."""

"What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk? A dead bird."

"A vampire walks into a bar... He orders a cup of hot water. When he gets it he smiles, whips out a bloody tampon, and says Time for Tea!"

"I had to pay $150 for the bowel prep medication before my colonoscopy. That shit was expensive. (Crosspost from r/funny. This fits better here.)"

"'You boy !' called a policeman.' Can you help ? We're looking for a man with a huge red nose called Cotters......' 'Really ?' said the boy. 'What're his ears called ?'"

"LPT: A lot of people cry when they chop onions, the trick is not to form an emotional bond."

"Shout out to all the Aussies over here! Want to hear a joke? :) Tony Abbott"