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Joke of the Day

"I punched a drug addict in the face. I guess I beat the crack outta him. (The best joke I have ever made up.)"

"Why is it that when your dog brings you things he's killed it's cute, but when I do it we have to get the police involved?"

"I went on a trip to a postcard factory last week. It was OK. Nothing to write home about"

"Even though she's not Native American, my Wife always sends smoke signals to let me know when dinner is ready."

"What's the speed limit of sex? 68; at 69 you have to turn around."

"[NSFW] where's the best place to have sex? In an Apple orchard, you always get to cum in cider."

"Guys, police jokes aren't funny. So give it arrest. (I'm so sorry)"

"A fat girl just served me at McDonald's earlier. She said, ""Sorry about the wait""... I said, ""Don't worry hun, you'll lose that eventually."""

"If you're a delivery driver and don't get a tip... You get shafted"

"70% of our planet is covered in water, the other 30% is covered in idiots"