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Joke of the Day

"me: I bet other husbands don't get put in timeout! wife: I bet they don't put their mother-in-law's phone number on a Craigslist ad either!"

"I asked my friend if it was intended for him to cheese the pizza joke. ""Nope Unintended"""

"What's the difference between a Grayhound station and a lobster who got a boob job? Ones a crusty ass bus station, the other is a busty ass crustacean."

"Why would anyone become an architect when everything you do gets destroyed in an X-Men movie?"

"MARRIAGE TIP: When your wife forgets to set the timer and incinerates dinner, DO NOT whistle ""If I Only Had a Brain"" from the Wizard of Oz."

"Why do girls... Hang out in odd numbers? Because they can't even!"

"What did they call the Mexican cleaning robot? Aye CaRoomba"

"They could of at least added a middle finger emoji on iOS7."

"I can't believe I used to talk to people."

"A son asked a his Jewish father The son asked ""Dad, could I borrow 30?"". The father turned around and answered ""10? Why do you want 5?"""