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Joke of the Day
"Why would anyone become an architect when everything you do gets destroyed in an X-Men movie?"
Next Joke
"You guys stole those words from the dictionary."
"What did the bishop say to the priest? It's my turn."
"Why do fat chicks give the best head? Because they have to."
"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? It might me a little to get hard, I just got laid by some chick. EDIT: ""take me a little while"""
"An atheist, a vegan, and a CrossFitter walk into a bar.. I only know because they told everyone within two minutes."
"[taking atendance] teacher: jimmy jimmy: here teacher: susie susie: here teacher: (sighs) omnipresemt sentinel omnipresent sentinel: always"
"*me looking at a police lineup* Number 3 is cute. OMG Is he single? Give him my number! What? Oh. Right. Five. Number 5 killed my grandpa."
"I had a Bernie supporters joke..... But most of them don't work."
"My mum's bf hates when I shorten his name to 'Dick'. Mainly because his name is Matthew."