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Joke of the Day

"Pro tip: if you absolutely must speak in court, do not put air quotes around ""the law"". Judges don't like it."

"Hubby's head seems like it's almost twice the size of mine. We are never having children."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? That's not funny."

"Have you heard of Helen Keller? it is okay my fellow redditor, neither has she!"

"A man was found with his dick in a peanut butter jar... He was fucking nuts."

"My Acquaintance said he'd make a better electrician than me. I told that cunt I wouldn't be too phased."

"There are two types of people in this world: people who pee in the shower and liars."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor."

"What does Julius Ceasar say after sex? Veni."

"What could you do if you were on a desert island without food or water? Open your watch: drink from the spring and eat the sand which is (sandwiches) there."