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Joke of the Day

"What does Julius Ceasar say after sex? Veni."

"There are two types of people in this world: Those that CAN gather information from incomplete data"

"I hope one day to be dating a moderator from /r/jokes... Everything is long from their point of view!!"

"The barman said, ""We don't serve particles faster than light."" A tachyon walked into the bar."

"I never mess with anyone in a Pontiac Aztek. I just don't want to be on the wrong end of another of their poor decisions."

"Little known fact: If you ride any animal in the zoo for more than 30 seconds... it's yours to keep."

"How do you compliment a scarecrow? Tell him he's outstanding in his field!"

"Why does it take 2 feminists to screw in a lightbulb? One to screw in the lightbulb and one to give me a blow job while I supervise."

"Sometimes all I'm really doing with my life is just trying to make it from one weekend to the next."

"Instagram couldn't complete your request at this time because nobody cares about your Sunday brunch."