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Joke of the Day

"Surround yourself with people that can't handle their alcohol, so you can drink theirs after they pass out."

"""Pop star, Justin Bieber, was charged with DUI, driving with an expired license and resisting arrest."" Britney Spears whispers, ""Amateur."""

"I went to the zoo the other day. It was completely empty except for a single dog... It was a Shih Tzu."

"I was looking at a cup of Earl Grey that always replenishes itself.. It was like staring into infinitea."

"How do you get 1000 cows into a barn ?? - hold a bingo !!"

"WTF!!!!!!!!!!! A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi."

"I bet sex with a stingray is like fucking a giant pancake."

"How do you keep a blonde busy for years? Tell her to count the stairs on an escalator."

"Since we're still doing Pirate Jokes... What's the Pirates favorite letter? Ya think it be the Arrrr, but it's really the C."

"Geico commercial by Oderous Urungus - ""No matter what your reason, today will be your day to SLAVE!!!"""