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Joke of the Day

"I went to the zoo the other day. It was completely empty except for a single dog... It was a Shih Tzu."

"Why did prince Oxygen inherit the throne after the king died? Because he was the rightful heir"

"""Hi, I'm Anne Hathaway for Proactiv. I've been blessed with great skin, I'm just lucky I guess, but I totally support you if you need this."""

"I put Pepsi in my car instead of gas and now it doesn't work so think of that next time you reach for a refreshing soda."

"Punish your cat by lint rolling him until he is completely gone."

"Screech up to a yard sale. Ask if they have any haunted amulets. Yell at the dog in your backseat, ""I'm GETTING the spell reversed, Greg!"""

"12: I hate school. Me: Hey! Perk up! Years from now you'll look back on this as the best time of your life! 12: Now you're just being mean"

"What do you call a doll with a fiddle and a hatred of Jews? A Doll Fiddler"

"A police facial artist tried drawing a suspect's face... It was a bit *sketchy*"

"What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza? Skinning the vegan."