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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't 5 stop drinking? Because it was 2 turnt up"

"You call it lightning. I call it targeted airstrikes."

"I haven't been drunk in so long, I almost forgot what it's like to love everyone."

"Is it just a coincidence that you turn purple when you choke? skol"

"the united states russia argentina and germany walk into a bar...... germany turns to argentina and says ""hey wanna go into the country with me"" HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH get it?"

"A black guy, an illegal alien, a Muslim, and a communist walk into a bar... The bartender asks, ""What can I get you Mr. President?"" ;-P"

"Of all the advice given to me over the years, ""There really is no bad time for a beer"" has proved to be the most helpful. Thanks ma."

"If we have sex in the dark, there's a 50% chance that I'll put it in the wrong hole and a 100% chance that I did it on purpose."

"My dog kept me awake all night. Dreadful diarrhoea. Don't think I cooked him properly."

"My dogs name is Nama Only reason is so I can say:""Nama stay"""