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Joke of the Day

"You call it lightning. I call it targeted airstrikes."

"Why do all the elements get cranky once a month? Cause they are on their periodic table."

"What is it called when you pay a hooker? An Entrance Fee."

"Okay stranger, it's clear that we walk at the exact same pace, speed up or at least hold my hand."

"The Hunger Games Don't they play those in Africa?"

"Dont' Wake the Baby by Elsie Cries"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? None, the light bulb will change when it's ready"

"What's the deal with Jerry Seinfeld? Did you ever notice he seems to start off all of his jokes in one of two ways?"

"Geometry is like Jersey Shore Allways tanning, sinning, and consigning contracts."

"it's raining and my gf has been staring at the window for about an hour.. i should probably let her in."