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Joke of the Day

"With all the negative news lately ...about the Paris attacks, ISIS and the Syrians taking over the world there is one thing that is positive and that's Charlie Sheen."

"What is an apt gift for a female porn star that collects vintage comic books? An issue of *Giant Sized Man-Thing*"

"This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd ""Shona baby"""

"What the only tag a Tumblr user can't have? A small Oops looks like I pissed off the fatties"

"Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I'm really fun to talk to."

"The Final Jeopardy category is: Beer. The answer is: It's f**king close to water. The correct question is: Why is Bud Lite like having sex in a sailboat?"

"I was going to tell a dead baby joke... But some people don't get prop humour."

"I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag."

"Why did Alexander Graham Bell never receive a nobel prize? Because it's a ""no bell"" prize."

"What is the difference between a baby and a alarm clock? You only have to hit the alarm clock once to make it be quiet..."