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Joke of the Day

"What the only tag a Tumblr user can't have? A small Oops looks like I pissed off the fatties"

"Got robbed. Someone broke into my house, stole my stuff, but then replaced everything with an exact replica. I pointed this out to my closest friend, and he went, ""Have we met?""."

"I hope Rand Paul doesn't pick Scott Walker as his VP I have a feeling Paul/Walker would crash and burn. Edit: thanks for the gold! It's my first!"

"I heard they came out with the new black transformer... His name is Optimus *Crime*"

"A Hippo claimed that he didn't like serial killers Than he ate a bowl of cereal. He was such a hippo-crit."

"Chimney Sweep Lady chimneysweep is a real fluesie"

"This day needs cyanide."

"What does a bee style his hair with? A honey comb!"

"Marine biologists were baffled by why Jaws would always swim away after chomping off swimmers' legs. Turns out he's lack toes intolerant."

"Who is the Prime Minister of Israol? Netanyahoo"