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Joke of the Day

"What is an apt gift for a female porn star that collects vintage comic books? An issue of *Giant Sized Man-Thing*"

"""i have good news & bad news"" wife: bad news 1st ""the washing machine broke"" wife: and the good news? ""the dogs are clean AF"""

"Um, guys, whaddya do with a 5 y.o. at an aquarium who's hysterical because she sees Dory in a tank and I kind of need to know right now."

"What's the best fabric Softener to use on a cat? Pounce..."

"At least I've never taken a picture with an iPad."

"Reddit has 10 types of people. The type that analyze something before they comment and the type that take something at surface value and comment."

"A psychology study suggests that when you are single, all you see are happy couples, When you are committed, you see happy singles."

"Chocolate Rain + Rickrolling = death by Youtube"

"""ALL I WANNA DO IS HAVE SEX WITH MINERS!"" is the exact wrong way to proclaim your sexual proclivity toward those who excavate coal."

"I've never seen a workplace Hanukkah display that didn't shout, ""We legally had to do this."""