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Joke of the Day

"""Mom?"" ""Yes?"" ""Are we having seafood for dinner?"" ""No, why?"" ""I heard Dad on the phone."" ""And?"" ""He said that he picked up a case of crabs."""

"Nobody ever sneezes in movies."

"I thought about making a cripple joke... ... but it would be lame."

"What tree gives the best high-fives? A PALM tree!"

"Why does the coffee taste like shit? Because it was ground this morning."

"It's so embarrassing when someone gets to second base with me and finds crumbs in my bra."

"I just bought some 300 noise cancelling headphones for my wife. But i can still hear her."

"What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? Irene."

"What's the difference between a BMW and a pair of Dockers? You can only fit one asshole in a pair of Dockers."

"Why are women and noodles alike? They both wriggle when you eat them."