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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a BMW and a pair of Dockers? You can only fit one asshole in a pair of Dockers."

"There are all types of love in this world but never the same love twice."

"Pushed too hard against my eardrum with a Q-tip and reset my brain."

"My grandpa says he hates gay men I think he's just bitter about his last boyfriend"

"Me and Justin Trudeau have alot in common... We both hope our budget will balance itself"

"3 Year Old: Mommy, was daddy ever inside you like I was? Wife: Yes. But only for a minute... two tops. Me: ..."

"What do you say to a guy with kidney stones? Urine trouble!"

"Why don't blind people skydive? It scares the fuck out of the dog."

"What did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine...? I heard that he was fully re-covered."

"ME: I'll have the burger. WAITER: And how do you like your burger? ME: I don't know. You haven't brought it to me yet."