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Joke of the Day

"What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog."

"Don't hand me the phone Don't hand me the phone Don't hand me th-HIIIIII GRANDMA I'M GOOOOOD..."

"What's the worst thing about being a professional alligator wrestler? You have to start off by being an amateur alligator wrestler."

"Her: Where ya been? Me: At the cemetery. Her: Someone dead? Me: Yeah. All of them."

"Told her I'd rather eat laundry than fold it and now I'm having boxers for breakfast."

"If it comes down to Joe Biden vs Donald Trump we should just accept our fates & let a chili dog eating contest determine who's president."

"""420 blaze it faggot"" ""grandma stop"" ""snapback"" ""stop trying to be hip grandma"" ""i have hip problems yolo swag drake"""

"My password is not working Put numbers in uppercase."

"[LPT] How to enable site-wide flair! * Log out of Reddit * Click Register * Enter your flair in the ""username"" section * Complete the registration! You're even given an additional Karma Point!TM"

"I do have a swimmers body, he's been in my trunk for days"