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Joke of the Day

"Don't hand me the phone Don't hand me the phone Don't hand me th-HIIIIII GRANDMA I'M GOOOOOD..."

"Hey, everybody under 25 just shut up for like FIVE minutes."

"You know what they say about STD'S Sharing is caring"

"Where is the best place for a 1-legged waitress to work? IHOP"

"My dick was once in the book of world records... But then I got kicked out of the library."

"What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon? The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli."

"Who poisoned the waters in the 2016 Olympics? It was I, **RIO**!!!"

"I love the snow. Some of my best friends are flakes."

"Christmas in Latvia Is Christmas man have present! He open, find rotten potato. Wife die of malnutrition night that."

"Exercise never hurt anyone... ... unless you run marathons. (Braces for downvotes)"