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Joke of the Day

"If it comes down to Joe Biden vs Donald Trump we should just accept our fates & let a chili dog eating contest determine who's president."

"I have a tip for all you lonely ladies on valentine's day... Or you can just take the whole thing."

"When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger & write ""WASH ME"" on her face."

"I phoned a Chinese restaurant. A guy answered and said ""Hello, I'm Wang King the chef"" I said ""Don't worry, l'll call back later when you're not busy """

"If I had a nickel for every hot woman at Ross I saw... I'd forget about all the money I made because I fucked them all."

"I like my women like i like my coffee.. Ground up on the back of an alpaca somewhere in south america."

"My middle finger is always ready to give you a standing ovation after you say something stupid."

"In honor of Father's day, here is a typical dad joke. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint."

"What's the difference between my wife and a dead baby? I didn't kill the baby for not shutting the fuck up."

"Don't read ""part a"" backwards. It's a trap."