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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a fan and a prostitute One Blows air off you and the other blows air into you."

"Two tomatoes were sitting in a fridge... One tomato says to the other: 'Ain't it cold?' And the other replies: 'HOOOOOLY SHIT, A SPEAKING TOMATO!!!'"

"I have just been kidnapped by a fat dude in a red suit, shoved in a bag and taken to the north pole and wrapped up. Who put me on their Christmas list?"

"Mormon cats have 9 wives."

"What's the worst thing about being black and Jewish? You have to sit at the back of the oven"

"I could not have sex with a man..... because I could never fuck something I respect. (Jim Jefferies)"

"I've eaten so many cheeseburgers, my hula hoop is just a fancy waist bracelet."

"I don't understand why people get embarrassed buying condoms. It's much more awkward trying to return them. ""She didn't like me."""

"Whats the difference? Whats the difference between mash potatoes and pea soup?... Anyone can mash potatoes..."

"Parallel lines have so much in common... Its a shame they'll never meet."