151466

Joke of the Day

"I could not have sex with a man..... because I could never fuck something I respect. (Jim Jefferies)"

"Have you heard of the corduroy pillow? It's making headlines everywhere."

"There are three kinds of people The ones that can count, and the ones that can't."

"Can somebody explain to me why we still use coins? Really, it doesn't make cents."

"Your mom fell down A man tells his wife, Honey, your mom fell down the stairs 20 minutes ago. The wife yells at him, Why are you just telling me now? He said, Because I couldn't stop laughing."

"What do you call a comic book hero that is constantly hooked on having sex with female superheroes? A heroine addict."

"""You spent hours slaving away in the kitchen yesterday. Relax. Let me sort out dinner today."" *Orders pizza"

"I hate it when people say I'm sexist. How can I be sexist when I'm half female on my mother's side?"

"Pete and Repete are in a boat and Pete falls out. Who's left?"

"I used to think that Banana Republic was actually a government run by bananas"