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Joke of the Day

"I can't come tonight, couldn't get a babysitter.. It is really difficult to get a babysitter when you don't have any children."

"I hate it when I accidentally grab two pieces of pizza and then have to eat the whole thing to keep it even."

"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."

"Wind turbines. I'm a big fan."

"A drunk man walks up to an Englishman pissing on a tree... And says, ""Yurr ahh.... European!"""

"Did you hear the one about the statistician who drowned while wading across a river whose average depth was three feet?"

"The sign of a true gentleman... ...is one who knows how to play the bagpipes, but chooses not to."

":* `*twinkle twinkle little star...point me to the nearest bar * `*:. HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!"

"A priest with a lisp offered to bring a roamin' Catholic to Paris ... The Catholic, bread in hand, was not impressed."

"Special thanks to my dictionary for explaining the definition of ""many"" It means a lot."