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Joke of the Day

"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."

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"How do you clear out a synagogue call the irs"
"Who is a battery manufacturer's favorite baseball player of all time? Al Kaline."
"So Jared Fogle is heading to prison. I wonder if he'll go for a six inch or try the footlong?"
"One tectonic plate bumped into another and said ""Sorry. My fault"""
"ME: Siri listen very carefully. I need you to quietly dial 911, and... SIRI: I HAVE FOUND TWO RESTAURANTS WITHIN 5 MILES OF YOUR LOCATION."
"Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum."
"Jared Fogle's career ending the same way it started.... Trying to get into smaller pants"
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
"I wish my x was raised in the power of 2. Then she'd always be positive."