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Joke of the Day

"The sign of a true gentleman... ...is one who knows how to play the bagpipes, but chooses not to."

"There's 3 things I hate about r/jokes people who think they know the punchline and misleading titles."

"Sorry I yelled ""chug it"" to your baby, as you were breastfeeding."

"apparently syriza gained a lot of support for a NO vote with a online meme campaign beware of greeks bearing GIFs, i say."

"What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? ""I don't know."" ""So you're the one!"""

"First 20 minutes driving through farm country: ""Isn't this pretty?"" Next 3 hours: *can't remember a life before corn*"

"What idiot called it a rattlesnake's warning rattle and not a cautionary tail?"

"What do you call two nuts on the wall? Walnuts. What do you call two nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call two nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."

"4: I'M GONNA RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT Me: Stop yelling violent things 4: *whispers* I'm gonna rip your eyeballs out"

"My nonprofit for constipation awareness went bankrupt (at least half of you can guess the punchline)... because no one gave a shit!!! yeah yeah, I know where the door is..."