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Joke of the Day

"If everyone had a gun, we wouldn't have to worry about gun violence. This is why war zones are noted for their safety."

"What do you call a chihuahua with a rainbow colored fur? Chihuehue"

"Got Christmas card glitter all over me and now I can't stop stripping."

"I'm still on my first marriage, and... Wait, that sounded very negative, as if I don't expect this marriage to last. My current wife hates it when I talk like that."

"I've been training for the masturbation world record. I'm gonna beat it."

"What is the hardest part about eating vegetables? The wheelchair."

"How do you eat a vegetable? First get her out of the chair"

"I own a very profitable bakery I guess you could say, i'm rolling in the dough"

"May I talk to you about Jesus Christ? - how I get out of any situation"

"Only mass transit kids will get this! We rank the top rails, the third one will shock you!"