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Joke of the Day

"May I talk to you about Jesus Christ? - how I get out of any situation"

"Wanna hear a joke The UN"

"sometimes i literally would stop replying to someone for a whole hour because i be googling a very specific reaction gif for the convo"

"[at seance] Me: If you truly are a ghost why don't you move this object Ghost: If you truly are a human why don't you get your shit together"

"I really love bikes. I'm a pedalphile."

"If my inlaws break a bylaw, does it make them outlaws? Would any lawyer be in a preposition to answer this one for me?"

"[Russian class] Um, why did I fail this test? Teacher: You just wrote in English and added ""ski"" to the end of the words... I knowski."

"After record breaking single day sales at Chic-Fil-a amid the same sex controversy today CEO of Jack in the Box Ted Fuller said he ""hates Jews and Mexicans."""

"I KEPT MY CAPS LOCK ON WHEN I SEARCHED RECIPES FOR DINNER TONIGHT AND NOW GORDON RAMSEY IS IN MY KITCHEN"

"Why do so many people listen to Taylor Swift songs after a breakup? Because they were tailor made for it."