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Joke of the Day

"I've been training for the masturbation world record. I'm gonna beat it."

"I just emailed ""This is a robbery!"" to my online bank. Will they just put the $$ in my account or do I have to wait for an email back?"

"What do Mexicans use to slice pizza? Little Caesers"

"What do NRA members and the UCC shooting victims have in common? Both will never get a college degree."

"What do you call an overweight ET ? An extra cholesterol !"

"Light a man a fire... Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Light a man afire and he'll be warm the rest of his life. (I know it's a repost, but I've never seen the play on words, shame)"

"old man's advice when you're young, she just takes your breath away, but once you're older, you realize she's suffocating you."

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman? Mick Jagger says ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"" A Scottsman says ""Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"""

"What do you call a mexican who lost his car. Carlos"

"A man walks into the head office of a click-bait news site... ...what happens next will shock you!!!"