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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up someone's ass."

"I told the wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."

"Rick Astley will give you any movie from his Pixar collection... ...But he's never gonna give you Up."

"Have you seen the movie ""Constipation""? Of course you haven't.. it hasn't came out yet."

"I would look more like a mountain.. if I were so inclined."

"Yosemite Sam would use the N-word."

"What's a caveman's favorite lunchtime meal? A club sandwich."

"Any time someone says ""have you seen that YouTube video?"" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone"

"My dog chases people on a bike a lot. If this continues i'll have to take his bike away."

"I took adderall next to a box of fortune cookies... And now I'm fluent in Chinese."