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Joke of the Day

"Any time someone says ""have you seen that YouTube video?"" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone"

"How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change."

"How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go ride bikes?"

"Why do nuns always travel in pairs? Because one nun follows the other nun to make sure that nun doesn't get none."

"Why did the black child cross the road? To get to the other side"

"I've seen Han Solo land the Millennium Falcon on an asteroid, I'm sure he can handle landing a plane on a golf course."

"Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Mary, 3 to Claire and 2 to Elizabeth then what will you get? Me: 3 new girlfriends."

"Benjamin Button Started off dead Violets are blue Roses are red"

"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and says ""some asshole has my pen"" edit: Original Joke by Jimmy Carr (thanks /u/gacres57)"

"What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear an enzyme."