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Joke of the Day
"I would look more like a mountain.. if I were so inclined."
Next Joke
"What do you get when you cross Christmas and a Duck? A Christmas-Quacker!"
"I was having sex with a female amputee in the dark I trying to figure out why my ass hurt, but she had me stumped."
"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."
"A vinter had twin ginger daughters. He named the first Rosay and the second Rose bee."
"A young girl walks in on her dad peeing... The dad fumbles around trying to cover up. Then the girl says ""don't worry dad. I've seen one before. Mommy brushes her teeth with the neighbor's."""
"The talk -Dad, am I adopted? -Not yet, we still haven't found anyone who wants you"
"Why is it called stand-up comedy? Because people in wheelchairs shouldn't be laughed at."
"I finally quit smoking because it was bad for my wealth."
"I got my girlfriend the perfect Valentine's Day present today. Hand lotion."