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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a whore moan? You don't pay her."

"What is today's best punch line? Paul christoforo"

"What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew."

"My girlfriend stole my vintage adding machine That calculating bitch."

"*hears robber in house* If anybody is there.. I have Updog & I'm not afraid to use it. ""What's Updog?"" Not too much haha you? ""Robbing you"""

"I just read a bumper sticker that said, ""Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you love Satan."" Sent from iPhone."

"Mathematics works in mysterious ways...[possibly a joke just for UK redditors] 2x2= 4 1x1= 1 0x0= a small brown cube you put in a casserole."

"Why did the stoplight turn red? Well, you would too, if you had to change in front of that many people!"

"'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors."

"What did the overly excited gardener do when spring arrived? He wet his plants."