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Joke of the Day

"How Stevie Wonder looks at his life... 'Rather blind than black'"

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"The installers put down my new hardwood really quickly. They floored it. (Was the reply when I told a friend that the installers were almost done)"
"I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours."
"Why doesn't anyone care about the plot in porn? Because, nobody appreciates good friction anymore."
"The worst puns are hot dog puns."
"baby i put the STD in stud now all i need is u"
"[Meta] I made a subreddit for anti pickup lines If you want to post an antipick up line, post it to /r/antipickuplines"
"Turns out there isn't a single sexy explanation for having a fork in your bed."
"""Vitamin Water""?? Sorry bud, that exists and it's called SOUP"
"What would you get if you cross breed a Borg with a Ferengi? A scientologist."