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Joke of the Day

"Using what sexual position often causes a couple to have an ugly baby? I don't know, ask your mom."

"Why can't you tell Walter White a knock knock joke? Because he is the one who knocks."

"My doctor said I need to cut back my sodium intake... ...but I tend to take everything he says with a grain of salt."

"This kid in target fell on the ground screaming bc his mom wouldn't buy him candy & now she's yelling for us both to get up and be quiet."

"Thanksgiving was like the last supper for the Indians."

"What does Lebron James do after winning the NBA Championship? He turns off his Xbox."

"Q: How many believable competent ""just right for the job"" presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: It's going to be a dark 4 years isn't it?"

"What is the definition of diplomacy? The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip."

"What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat? One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws."

"[graduation] ...and I owe it all to my mom, and my late dad *sheds tear* [crowd cries] *dad walks in holding starbucks* ""traffic, my bad"""