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Joke of the Day

"When I'm having a bad day, I like to think of Prince William, Prince and will.i.am introducing themselves to each other."

"How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb? Nobody knows. Except me."

"I got a new stick of deodorant today The instructions said ""Remove cap and push up bottom"". I can barely walk now but when I fart the room smells lovely."

"Why couldn't the chameleon change colors? He had a reptile dysfunction."

"The number one cause of teenage pregnancy is sluts."

"A big moron and a little moron were standing on the edge of a roof. Suddenly a gust of wind came and the big one fell off, but the little one didn't. Why? He was a little more on."

"Everyone keeps returning to the same hypothetical. If loving you is wrong... Bullshit. What if loving you is gross? That's the question."

"Crabs can't eat hotdogs because they just keep cutting them into tinier and tinier hotdogs."

"My FitBit app says I sleep walked 20 steps last night, glad I was asleep during all that damn exercise."

"What's Jian Ghomeshi's favorite vegetable? Artichoke."