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Joke of the Day

"What's Jian Ghomeshi's favorite vegetable? Artichoke."

"My birthday is this monday and i got 2 early b-day presents. I got 2 socks. One from my dad and one from my sister. Boy did they both hurt..."

"If you ever see me wearing anything fur lined or faux fur, please punch the person I'm with in the face. I've been kidnapped & need saved!!"

"What do you do to a dog that doesn't obey your commands? You kill it."

"What do you need to split a photon? A lightsabre"

"I got the job as a psychic! I don't know how."

"I wish the girls who rejected me in high school could see how many Pokemon I've caught."

"Why did the scientist take off his doorbell? ...because he wanted to win the ""Nobel"" prize!"

"What does pubic hair and celery have in common? Just move it to the side and keep eating."

"What do you call a cellphone company that uses nuclear power? Cher-Mobile"