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Joke of the Day

"Crabs can't eat hotdogs because they just keep cutting them into tinier and tinier hotdogs."

"What's the difference between Victoria Taylor and Arnold Schwarzenegger? One was fired, the other was terminated"

"Overworked Employee in India"

"One I just made up. Did you hear about the dyslexic mafia? They all pay homage to the Dog Farther"

"My friend decided to get a tattoo of Pi on his face. It was an irrational decision."

"What did Vladimir name his member? Put-in. (In a Russian accent)"

"Guy Who Invented Figurative Speech: I've got something that'll blow your minds. Townspeople: *fleeing in abject terror*"

"My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic... But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord."

"What do you call a homosexual Frenchman? A faguette."

"Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill."