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Joke of the Day
"How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb? Nobody knows. Except me."
Next Joke
"Not to brag but I'm one of those people who can eat whatever she wants and still gain a concerning amount of weight."
"[Job Interview] ""It says here under skills, that you can eat rice?"" *Eats rice with chop sticks* ""Holy shit! When can you start?!"""
"Why is the Adults only store open 24hrs? Because get off at different times."
"So aparently my local pub is haunted. Everyone keeps telling me the place is full of spirits."
"A quick question... How do I disable the autocorrect function on my girlfriend?"
"There was 30 cows in a field and 20 8(ate) how many didn't? 10"
"Just bet myself that the guy walking ahead of me was rocking a mustache. Won. Rewarded myself with the delusion that I live a full life."
"I offered my Muslim girlfriend a bite of my gorilla sandwich but she shook her head and said... ""That's haram, bae."""
"Ever wonder if you killed that one really important brain cell?"