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Joke of the Day

"Everyone keeps returning to the same hypothetical. If loving you is wrong... Bullshit. What if loving you is gross? That's the question."

"What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large"

"Student: Can we postpone the test? It's on my birthday. Teacher: Well unlike your birthday, this test was planned ahead of time."

"An Elephant walks into a bar bartender asks why long nose. Elephant: Mind your own fucking business."

"How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None the keyboardist can do it with his left hand."

"Thought about helping an old lady across the street but she prob doesnt have Facebook & wont make a post about it that goes viral so no thx"

"If I had two bathrooms I'd tell everyone someone died in one, I ain't tryna clean two bathrooms"

"I don't kill spiders because when spiders become our mutant overlords and eat us, they will look at me and say, ""She's cool. Let her live."""

"Apple products of late is a crime against good design The iPhone battery case should be charged as an accessory"

"Male secretary : ""Feel free to use my dictaphone."" New blonde employee : ""No thanks I'll just use my finger like everyone else."""