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Joke of the Day

"The US has so many disasters You would almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds."

"""Will.he.was"" -Will.i.am's tombstone"

"""Can you spot me, bro?"" - Waldo, at the gym"

"Girl in the locker room put her pants on the floor and tried to hop into them. I was going to call her awesomepants, but coma girl works too"

"My brother has muscular dystrophy and we got into an argument about religion I told him his argument is just as valid as his legs.... Weak."

"I was looking at my bank statement and realized I was a .1 percent-er I don't know why anyone wants to be one, it's a crappy interest rate."

"How many immigrants. Q) How many immigrants does it take to change a light bulb? A) None. That is our fucking job!"

"I once met a dyslexic atheist... ...he didn't believe in dog."

"What is the most confusing holiday in Harlem? Father's Day."

"China has entered the space race. In other news, the first outer space restaurant is set to be named ""The Space Wok"""