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Joke of the Day

"Girl in the locker room put her pants on the floor and tried to hop into them. I was going to call her awesomepants, but coma girl works too"

"There are three types of people in the world... those who can count, and those who can't."

"My go-to office prank is to sneak onto someone's unattended Facebook page and post ""I'm undecided, which should I get, iPhone or Android?"""

"Did you know 94% of Fords are still on the road? The other 6% made it home."

"Just met a guy.Omg he was so fit! Just met a guy.Omg he was so fit. Handsome even. Never will I met a guy like him again. Caring. Emotional. Nice. And his name was the first letter of each sentence"

"Sorry ISIS but we already have a religious state that nobody likes and is full of people that hate modern thinking: it's called Kansas."

"Latvian Joke Stop. Please."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"Sex is like pizza... If you are using bbq sauce, you better know what the fuck you are doing."

"I recently bought some shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."