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Joke of the Day

"China has entered the space race. In other news, the first outer space restaurant is set to be named ""The Space Wok"""

"What do you call an expert in psychedelics? A trip advisor."

"HELP!!! I've just spunked all over my mother's chest by accident whilst she was asleep. If she finds out, she's going to go fucking crazy. Anybody know how to clean cum off antique oak wood??"

"Good Cop: step away from the ledge Cat Cop [pushes person off] oops"

"Why does Donald Trump take anti-anxiety medication? To prevent Hispanic attacks."

"It would have been way more anticlimactic if the video game had been called ""Where in the World is Carmen? San Diego."""

"What do you call a homeless guy who broke up with his girlfriend a while ago? A man who hasn't eaten in days."

"When I couldn't pee once, I told my penis, ""Come on! I know urine there""."

"It only took three beers before I could tell my kid her Barbie Dream House is in foreclosure. She's such a lightweight."

"My sister read '50 Shades of Grey' and relayed some of its explicit content. I pretended to think those things are shocking, too."