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Joke of the Day

"I think i just wrote a joke out of my pathetic love life while fixing supper and here it goes. What does a bachelor eat the most? Balonely sandwiches."

"*cute person sends me a selfie* *tries 897285623895 times to take a cute selfie to send back to them*"

"I like my women like I like my coffee I don't like coffee"

"I want to share this great joke about time But I'm not sure how to tell it."

"Cow jokes.. What do you call a cow with no legs? -- ground beef What do you call a cow with 3 legs? -- lean beef What do you call a cow with 2 legs? -- your mom"

"When Germans combine words, we get things like ""flutter mouse"" and ""river horse."" When the English do it, we get ""jorts."""

"Used to have no life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!"

"Valentine man I knew him, you see, This certain young man, And that is why I saw him and ran. In the plan of the ages This tragedy is That I should be An acquaintance of his."

"Apple Watches your money go into their pocket."

"Happy Independence Day!!! This is probably the last time I get to say that."