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Joke of the Day

"When Germans combine words, we get things like ""flutter mouse"" and ""river horse."" When the English do it, we get ""jorts."""

"""Yes, I'm still single and underemployed, but at least I'm not MARRYING CHARLES MANSON"" --women at family holiday gatherings from now on"

"What was the name of the time traveler with good timing? Justin Time."

"I guess the Tupperware lids in my house just graduate and go off to college or something."

"Woo! Let's get this weekend started! *Starts doing laundry*"

"I played golf with a guy in a wheelchair today He must not play much judging by the silence I was met with when I asked him what his handicap is."

"What's the programmer's favorite drug? A line of code."

"Bathrooms have Changed from being a Singing Studio, to a Photo Studio."

"Knock knock -Who's there? 9/11 -9/11 who? I thought you said you'd never forget."

"I like my coffee like I like my racist jokes... Made by someone else."