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Joke of the Day

"What does Michael Jackson and McDonalds have in common? They both stick their raw meat into five year old buns. It's been almost 6 years...is it okay to make jokes yet?"

"I've been dating this lady who is gluten free... Problem is, we go to a deli, she asks, ""do you want to split a sandwich."" I say, ""sure"" and then I'm just left with the bread."

"What's r/jokes's favorite breakfast? A retoast with butter on top."

"look. alls I'm saying is, with that many extremist in one single location, we'd be crazy NOT to take the X-Games to the Middle East. what?"

"There's a cricket living outside my apartment. I'm all ""Cricket, it's winter, shouldn't you die?"" and he's all ""Chirp!"" and we laugh."

"WHEN CATS ARE SAD Bartender: What'll ya have? Cat: Shot of rum. [Bartender pours it] [Cat slowly pushes it off the bar] Cat: Another."

"Twitter has no plot, millions of characters, & it never ends. Basically, it's a ""Hobbit"" movie."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Marie Antionette Barbie ...with removable head; guillotine included"

"wow american really nailed the demographic of the 6am business traveler with the in flight movie selection of madagascar 3"

"Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass are Red I think my lawn is on Fire"