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Joke of the Day
"Q: What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile? A: A carpet."
Next Joke
"Two condoms are walking down the street... ... and they pass a gay bar. The one condom turns to the other and says ""hey, wanna get shitfaced?"""
"[in Batmobile] Superman: Hey Batman: Sup? S: Promise you won't be mad? B: [sighs] I asked if you had to go before we left the Batcave!!"
"Who invented the sucker punch? Mike Dyson"
"The movie 'Up' is utter bullshit. I tied 57,000 balloons to my house & my wife didn't die."
"what idiot called it becoming a zombie and not waking up on the wrong side of the dead"
"With the announcement of Pence as Trump's running mate, it reminds me of a man running. With a dick out in front, and an asshole behind him."
"Is there a morning after pill to erase all the texts from the night before?"
"Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I'd highly recommend Fight Club."
"If you're reading this you're probably addicted to the internet. And by internet, I mean Facebook."