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Joke of the Day
"The movie 'Up' is utter bullshit. I tied 57,000 balloons to my house & my wife didn't die."
Next Joke
"What's an alcoholic's favourite type of Maths? Swigonometry."
"How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep? Tip him for the pizza."
"Hey girl, are you a fire alarm? 'Cause you get triggered from the smallest of things"
"""What are you doing, idiot?"" me, to other drivers on the road ""What are you doing, idiot?"" me, to myself, in all other situations"
"I went to the zoo.. I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog. It was a shitzu."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Castor ! Castor who ? Castorblanca !"
"what is 50 feet long and only has 3 teeth? The funnel cake line at the Arkansas state fair."
"Who's faster than Christopher Walken? Christopher Runnen Who's slower? Christopher Crawlen"
"My phone bill was huge this month. A couple of weeks ago I rang in sick for my wife and her boss asked me what was wrong with her."