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Joke of the Day

"Who invented the sucker punch? Mike Dyson"

"There once was a soldier named Private Acid HQ called him back. When he got to home base, he was found neutralized."

"What can 5 men do that 5 women can't do? Pee in a cup."

"I'm ""yells at people who drive too fast in my neighborhood"" years old"

"Adult films are lame. There's nothing about choosing insurance or retirement planning; it's all just a bunch of naked hugging."

"Hellen Keller walks into a bar... She now has a bruise on her forehead..."

"What's the difference between a turtle and a tortoise? I don't know but your mother's a whore!"

"What do you call a bunch of gay slaves? Fruits of labor."

"Me: What's w/the ice pack? 12: I have a headache. Me: Do you think it's a good idea to play video games if you have a headache? 12: Yes."

"I didn't know what happiness was until I got married. But by then it was too late."