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Joke of the Day

"You say ""I suggest you join this Facebook group and get 500 free Mafia Wars points"" but all I see ""Block me."""

"What did the lesbian-vampire say to her girlfriend? See ya next month."

"So I heard that back in the day Hammurabi was actually Jewish... yea, they actually called him Hammurabbi. ^badum ^tsssssss ^^^please ^^^^don't ^^^^^hurt ^^^^^^me"

"What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear? Thanks for the refill. "

"The year is 2316. Humans have 12ft long arms from centuries of taking selfies."

"A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, ""Why is that, Angus"""

"When a guy tries to talk to me while at a urinal I instantly slide over and start pissing in his urinal too. See how friendly he really is"

"Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Send me a text like a normal person."

"Did you hear about the woman who died in an Italian restaurant? She pasta way."

"What's grey, has one leg, sits at the end of your bed and takes the piss out of you? A kidney dialysis machine."